I started this diary because I need to write down my thoughts.
I was about to overclock my pc, so I put on a trade where my safe maximum exposure was £.50 per pip. I did a massive mistake and did £5 per pip. I closed the trader without looking and then restarted my computer.
When I loaded my computer back up, I decided to have a look at my trader to see how it was going. It said -£8... hmmmm, that can't be right because it was sitting at the exact entry price (USD/JPY).
It was a moment I hadn't experienced in a long time: My heart in my mouth, my countenance dropped and I felt a wave of panic flow over me. The price moved into +£5 in which I closed the trade.
As I got out of this one, some silly thought inside me said I could do it again and get away with it... This time it was the EUR/USD. I did it in a way where I mentally tricked myself, pretending it was only £.5 a pip, but it was actually £5.
Let's just say, I've learnt my lesson now. I even said to myself I would never do something so stupid again.
May the trading God's help me.
Current trading balance - £195 (May 20th)